if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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