Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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