But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
You made out with two different species that night
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize