also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
