dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
