I'm gonna have a badass scar
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize