I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize