also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
