Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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