NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize