I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
