By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
time to smoke my breakfast
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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