those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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