I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize