I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
