if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize