actually, I'm a sock model
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
