you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize