Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
