We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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