I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
