I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
