Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
im holly from the hills drunk
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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