No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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