weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
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