32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
