How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Just pee around me
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
