how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
