she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
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