At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Randomize
