So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
