she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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