So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
