Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
this hospital has no fireball
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
