im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
