Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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