Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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