then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
