i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
