Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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