Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
