how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
