im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
