I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
i believe in u and ur pee
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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