No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Randomize
