I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
