Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
