3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
