I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize