So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
