Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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