party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
