feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
