Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
