At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
