Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Watching her eat just hurts me
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
