bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
