you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Randomize
