I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
