in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
