Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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