Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
