last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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