3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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