So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
