tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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