I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
