I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Please don't give away my fajitas
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