Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
